Gambling can save your marriage!

A columnist in the St. Augustine Record has a prescription for women who are dreading the return of football season: gambling!

You can bridge this gap with one of the greatest relationship problem solvers I know: gambling.

Thats right. A few interesting wagers can easily return your family from football fan and widow to weekend playmates.

Heres one: Each of you pick five games a week. College, pro, whatever. Five games, five winners. Doesnt even have to be the same games. Whoever picks the most winners each week is the champ.

Ive seen couples do this and make all kinds of wild bets. Some bet chores. Guys, wouldnt it be awesome to have a beer and watch your wife mow the lawn? Some bets get a little more creative. Girls, how nice does a foot rub from your man sound? Some even involve the bedroom. Use your imagination — this is a family column, people.

The great thing about football is that even the dorkiest expert cant accurately predict every game. So even if you dont know Peyton Manning from the Publix checkout dude, you really still have a shot.

So take heart, football widows, you have hope. Summer might be drawing nigh, but you dont have to be the big loser. In fact, this year you might even come out a few foot rubs and dinners ahead.

via staugustine.com: the oldest city’s home on the Net.

I like that this considers gambling in a broader cultural context. I wonder, though, if the NFL will try to penalize people wagering foot rubs and dinners on the outcome of games. After all, the league has taken a firm stance against betting on games.

The funny thing is that if you consider the foot rubs a service, then technically this is illegal in most states: you are exchanging something of value. Otherwise, you could avoid prosecution for bookmaking by switching from a cash to a barter system. It doesn’t seem practical to me, but I’m sure there’s some financial whiz who could make it work.

4 thoughts on “Gambling can save your marriage!

  1. The family that gambles together, stays together! Well, far more money is made in sports bars offering multiple bowl games than in restaurants advertising an oasis free of football.

    I would tend to think that spouses are already quite likely to share risk-taking behavior viewpoints. And I dare say that it is not only males who go to Las Vegas for some “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” behavior.

    A footrub? Heck, its probably better than the silly trinkets of a free deck of playing cards or a free pair of dice that casinos have been offering for eons.

  2. Football season is definitely something I am looking forward to. I’m a Chicago Cubs fan and unfortunately they probably will not make the playoffs.

    In Las Vegas they have plenty of bars that have drink specials for pro football teams. Chicago is different in that they have plenty of bars that have drink specials for college football teams. Almost all of them are for Big 10 teams considering that Chicago is kind of the geographic center of all the Big 10 teams.

    Thursday September 3rd starts the betting again on football. Good luck to all who bet. I think the college championship game will be between Texas and Florida and I think Texas will win.

  3. >Thursday September 3rd starts the betting again on football.
    >I think the college championship game will be Texas over Florida.
    So how should I take advantage of this information? When will this game be played?
    I know very little about football other than the players seem obsessed about these yellow highlighters since they seem to leave those markers all over the playing field. I know there is alot of talk about turnovers, but to me turnovers are triangular pastries with apple filling.

  4. Fools Gold:
    The college football championship game will be played on January 7th, 2010 in Pasadena, California.

    The yellow highlighters you are talking about are called penalty flags. When a referee throws a flag there is either a penalty on the team playing offense or the team playing defense. Penalties can be 5, 10 or 15 yards in length.

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