The conventional wisdom has been that Nordic countries, with their long, dark winters, mean plenty of time for two things: drinking and sex. But the conventional wisdom may be wrong. According to a recent study, Swedes might be turning to online gaming as a substitute for sex. From the Local:

Despite the international reputation for being oversexed, and having a population of blonde women with physicality worthy of worship in beer commercials, Swedes turn out to be the least sexually active people in the Nordic countries.

In a survey carried out by contraceptive-maker Durex and reported in the tabloids, Swedes say they have sex an average of 103 times a year. It�s warmer in Icelandic beds: they report having sex 119 times a year.

350,000 people in 41 countries answered the survey and now Durex knows not to waste much money on advertising in Japan, where they apparently have sex just 46 times a year. The most active lovers in the world are, unsurprisingly, the French. They have sex an average of 137 times per year.

“I think they’re lying,” said Freddy Nordsten, 23, to Expressen. “They don’t have more sex than Swedes.”

Rickard Allstrin, 27, was more inclined to believe the results but couldn’t say why Swedes were so inactive compared to the French.

“To be honest, I’m more like a Frenchman than a Swede where this sort of thing is concerned,” he boasted.

Aftonbladet delicately pointed out to readers that the survey defines “having sex” as including masturbation and noted that Swedish women said they have sex more often than men: 106 times per year versus just 101 times.

While sex is apparently not an option for the housebound Swede, there is an increasingly popular alternative: online poker. According to Svenska Dagbladet, thousands of Swedes are gambling through the night on the internet.

Michael Holmberg, with internet gambling company Expect, told SvD: “Profits (on internet poker) are expected to increase by about 27 percent a month.”

Expect is a Swedish-owned company based on Malta. Its competitors, Betsson, Unibet and Ladbrokes see a similar pattern. Up to six thousand players are simultaneously online every night.

Some of the best players in the world are Scandinavians, including Martin de Knijff, who recently won the World Poker Tour in Las Vegas, worth 21 million Swedish crowns.

The Local – Undersexed Swedes turn to online gambling

That’s got to be one of the best opening paragraphs ever. According to the full story, Swedes also suffer from social phobia, which may explain the relative lack of sex and the propensity for online gaming.

At first, I thought that 103 times a year wasn’t that bad–I know many people who’d love to fall into that category. But when I found out that it also includes…”hand relief,” I wasn’t as impressed.

Who maintains a running account of how many times they’ve had sex in the year, anyway? If it’s once or twice, I could see how you could give a definite number, but when you get into the triple digits, I think that anything you answer would be a very rough guess.

For all of the talk of gaming as a legitimate recreation and industry, it can’t seem to quite give its past stigma the slip. It seems like whenever the mainstream media talks about gaming, it is always depicted in a tawdry and somewhat sleazy light, or lumped together with sex and drinking as a vice.

Coverage of Las Vegas is the same way. At this very moment (more or less), the President of the United States of America is speaking at the Thomas and Mack center, literally next door to the library here. John Kerry and Laura Bush are speaking at the AARP convention at the Las Vegas Convention Ceter.

So this morning, Bridget Quinn on Fox News leads the story with something about the candidates in Sin City, betting on votes. James Rosen on CNN totally goofed (twice), when he said, while standing in the TMC, that Bush was speaking at the “University of Las Vegas.” Twice. I’m sure the UNLV administration was thrilled to have their university’s name butchered on national TV.

As far as the Sin City stuff goes, Las Vegas has no one to blame but itself. This is, after all, the city that promotes itself with “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” When I hear locals complaining that people have an unbalanced view of the city, I have to remind them that they only know what they hear about, and multi-million dollar advertising campaigns tend to drive the message home.

As if eating the food there wasn’t bad enough for kids, the folks at McDonalds are now apparently encouraging kids to gamble online…sort of. From Austrailian seven.com.au:

A McDonalds toy giveaway linked to a website that features gambling games has outraged parents, an anti-pokie campaigner and a psychologist.

For decades McDonalds has sold soft drinks, burgers and fries. Now the fast food chain stands accused of adding gambling to its menu.

McDonalds is running a cross-promotion with the makers of Neopets, the latest American soft-toy craze. A free Neopet is offered with every Happy Meal.

But the Neopets website advertised on McDonald’s packaging and website has left parents such as Michelle Stiebel far from happy.

Among the activities the site offers are virtual pokies, roulette games, and card games where one of the cute characters teaches children the rules of poker and blackjack.

As Michelle’s son Harley explains, you need to gamble to raise points to feed your virtual Neopets. He says if you don’t gamble up enough points to feed your pet, it goes to the “orphanage”. Players who don’t win enough points gambling to buy food actually have to send their Neopets to a “virtual soup kitchen”.

“A nine-year old boy doesn’t have the ability to question,” Michelle said. “He doesn’t even know what a virtual soup kitchen is.”

Child psychologist Michael Carr-Greg says this is a sure-fire way to turn our kids into gambling addicts.

He says children just don’t have the critical facilities needed to understand the dangers of adult-style gambling.

“As far as I’m concerned, this is sanitising, normalising and glamourising gambling,” Mr Carr-Gregg said.

No Pokies MP Nick Xenophon says this is yet another example of a junk food giant failing to act in the best interests of children.

Parents not McHappy over pokie toy

Note: “pokies” is Australian slang for video poker. I did a little research and checked out the NeoPets parental consent page. There’s nothing about gambling there, but it looks like the kids will be mercilessly spammed based on their marketing info.

Personally, I have some real problems with introducing children under 12 to games like keno, poker, blackjack, slots, and craps, which Neopets seems to do. How has this flown so far below the radar?

This is just more proof that the truth really is stupider than fiction. Most of the usual fads schoolkids follow are pretty pointless, but this seems to cross the line. I just imagine a bunch of fourth-graders who can’t wait until recess to log on and get some action down on bilge dice. How did anyone think this was a good idea?